Iced (1988) Review

Two hotdog skiers race each other for the right to bed the lovely Trina (Debra DeLiso from Slumber Party Massacre). Cory (Doug Stevenson) wins and quickly moves in for his reward while loser Jeff (Dan Smith) gets drunk and skies off the side of a mountain. Luckily, Jeff is saved from crashing into the snow by landing on a couple of boulders. Four years later, newlyweds Cory and Tina are reunited with friends when the gang is invited to a new lodge for a free ski weekend. Waiting and watching from a distance is a killer dressed in Jeff’s old ski suit. But it can’t be Jeff, can it? He’s been dead for four years….

Any slasher fans thinking of writing a script take note: make sure you’re cast in the film and make sure your character has at least one gratuitous love scene. Joseph Alan Johnson, also an alum from Slumber Party Massacre, gives new meaning to the phrase “double dipping” by giving the minor character he plays a torrid love scene with former child actress Lisa Loring. Johnson peppers his script with intelligent characters possessing real life problems. Some characters are smart enough to grab a weapon before investigating that strange noise coming from outside the house.

The actors in Iced are better than the average direct to video slasher from the late 80s. Ron Kologie is Carl, a jokester battling cocaine addiction. His performance is so good that it’s easy to believe Kologie was really snorting mounds of white powder between scenes. Lisa (Wednesday on the Addams Family tv show) Loring’s performance is ….hell, nobody can pay attention to her acting skills when she keeps distracting the viewer with numerous nude scenes. Debra DeLiso proves to be a real scene stealer when other actresses should be the focus of attention. DeLiso is lifting weights in a kitchen while Loring tells her life story and can be seen performing push-ups and leg curls against a kitchen counter during another sequence. Amazingly, DeLiso’s character is smart enough to look for a gun and car keys, yet forgets to put on her pants before rushing out into the snow to find help.

Director Jeff (Beyond the Door 3) Kwitny could have used a ceiling fan judging from the volume of smoke washing out the colors during the lodge scenes. Smoke is so heavy in some instances that it’s a miracle the actors aren’t keeling over from oxygen deprivation. The biggest complaint against Kwitny is he doesn’t get to the serious slashing until an hour into the film’s running time. Character development is important but too many shots of characters talking in scenes without tension or suspense kills the momentum created in the prologue.

The filmmakers behind Iced try hard to create an intelligent slasher but sacrifice scares for drama. A lame “5 years later” epilogue causes head scratching instead of jumps and a few giant plot holes are never addressed. There are several reasons to watch Iced (Lisa Loring in the bathtub, Lisa Loring in the Jacuzzi, Debra DeLiso in the snow) but slasher fans have to wade through soap opera territory before the creative kills finally make an appearance. Iced has an interesting premise and manages to be an okay timewaster despite some flaws.

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