Retro Slashers is now Retro Mini Moni

Earlier this week Platinum Dunes, unhappy with the negative coverage their line of slasher remakes received on this site, bought the rights to Retro Slashers.  The new owners have one simple rule: NO MORE SLASHER COVERAGE OF ANY KIND.  So it is with great sadness that we must report Retro Slashers is no more.  But we are proud to announce the birth of our new website Retro Mini Moni and we hope our loyal readers will continue to visit this new site.  Sometimes change can be a sad thing but we are really excited about the new direction the site is taking.  Oh, if you could only see our faces you’d know just how excited we really are.

Future posts will include  performances by Mini Moni on Music Station (Mini Moni Telephone Rin Rin Rin) and Hello! Morning (Jankenpon).  We will also post the entire infamous episode of Do You Want To Get Some FUN Tonight featuring Ai Kago and Tsuji Nozomi’s profanity laced outburst directed at one of the  hosts.  Special thanks to Mr. Michael Bay for finding and sending us the rare footage.  The newest member of the Retro Mini Moni crew, Tokyo Vice author Jake Adelstein, is working on a series of articles describing Mini Moni’s cultural impact on Japanese fashion and Tokyo Go-Go Clubs.  And there are many more exciting posts and  interviews for all of you Mini Moni otaku in the very near future.

If you would like to get in touch with any of the Mini Moni ladies you can do so by clicking on the following links.  Just be sure to tell them Retro Mini Moni sent you.  We haven’t been able to track down Mika Todd so if any of you Retro Mini Moni fans know where she is or how to get in touch with her please drop us a line and let us know.

Mari Yaguchi:  http://ameblo.jp/mari-yaguchi/

Tsuji Nozomi: http://ameblo.jp/tsuji-nozomi

Ai Kago: http://biscuitclub.fc.yahoo.co.jp/

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33 Responses to “ Retro Slashers is now Retro Mini Moni ”

  1. Gonna hafta move my Retro bookmark from Horror to sites I can masturbate too ;D

  2. That’s one helluva April fools gag guys.Was worried for about a nanosecond.Ha ha ha.

  3. Did I say “Fuck Michael Bay!”?

    I meant “Fun Michael Bay!”! FUN Michael Bay!

    Yes, Fun Michael Bay!

  4. I’m honored and grateful to be the newest member of Retro Mini Moni.
    Especially since the Japanese authorities closed down all yakuza operations in Japan today and banned possession of child pornography after the passage of the criminal conspiracy laws.
    I really don’t have much to write about or complain about Japan anymore.
    Glad to be moving on to something new.
    I realize that this is probably a major change for your readers who are used to long, often esoteric films on the “slasher” genre of cinema but I’m sure that in time, they will warm to the new website. As you know, Retro Mini Moni has no relation to the other pre-fabricated relatively talentless girl singing group, Morning Musume, who’s audience primarily consists of sweaty smelling computer geeks with autistic tendencies. Mini Moni is a wholesome, new and fresh musical group who’s fans include men and women, boys and girls. It’s nice to be able to have a forum like this to introduce some of the more positive aspects of Japanese culture.
    I’ll miss the old website myself, even though I could really never claim to be an expert in “slasher” films–although I was very fond of the original Halloween and Hellraiser. And yes, I know, that Hellraiser does not qualify as a slasher film per se, I’m just saying it for the record.
    So in summary, irasshaimase, welcome to a new day at an old site and please enjoy the company of Mini Moni!
    Jake Adelstein
    author of Tokyo Vice: An American Reporter On The Police Beat In Japan

  5. HA, HA, HA, hey while we are on the subject of japan…… who thinks that a slasher film where the girls from Sailor Moon get killed off would be a good watch?

  6. You better still write tha book you said you’d release!

  7. I hope to hell this is an April fools gag!

  8. Lizzyroman, there IS actually an slasher episode near the end of Season 1 where the Sailor Scouts get killed off one by one. Haha, enjoy:

    (the bodycout begins in Part 2)

    Part 2
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avAKrPjWC-Q

    Part 3
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCISl8Js12U

  9. It’s just another Manic Wednesday. Wish I was burning churches. Cuz that’s what Odin says is Fun Today. It’s Just another Manic Wednesday. Uhhmm, Pectin Good. Make Jelly and Stuph.

  10. Thanks Josh. I saw the episode(s) you were talking about, that’s not what I meant, I meant them dead….PERMANENTLY. They come back at the end.

  11. I would pay good money to see the sailor scouts get killed off one by one. I would like to see one like Slumber Party Massacre, with Sailor Venus as the Final Girl, or even better, the killer……..

  12. you know, I agree with lizzy, I want to see those girls get it! I don’t know about Sailor Venus being the killer, but as the final girl, I totally get it.

  13. Who doesn’t want to see the Sailor Scouts get killed off by a slasher maniac? I think Venus should be the killer.

  14. Thanks to everyone out there in internet land that replied to my question, it’s cool to see what you all had to say.

  15. Venus should be the leader of the scouts. Everybody – and I mean EVERYBODY – thinks so. :( Usagi-chan should be killed off first. Or better yet…Chibi Moon. >:D

  16. I think if Usagi(Sailor Moon) was killed off, it would have to be something like the face rip scene in Hatchet, ultraviolent but funny as hell! I think Minako(Sailor Venus) should be the killer, her character is a perfect choice for a psychopath!

    I wonder what the staff at Retro Slashers have to say about all this……

  17. I did not think that one reply would generate so much attention from slasher fans and Sailor Moon fans. Somebody important has got to read this stuff!

  18. I call a challenge to all slasher fans on this website, list all the ways you want to see the Sailor girls DIE! It could be character specific or random violence, it could be in a list or whatever, we should settle this now!!!!!

    (I would like to give props to my younger bro Lizzy for bringing this up in the first place!)

  19. A simple large curved knife through the back and out the chest for Ami-chan would do just fine. :D
    Eye gouging on thorns for Rei-chan.
    Usagi…meh. The most brutal one for her, hehe.

  20. Makoto-chan should get her face boiled off A-LA My Bloody Valentine, then she should get a knife to the face.

    Chibiusa, a shotgun shell to the face A-LA High Tension.

    Minako-chan should be the killer in my opinion, but for her death, a garroting with razor wire from the final girl would work!

    Usagi should get gutted with a chainsaw, then get the chainsaw through her face!!!

  21. For those who don’t know:

    Sailor Moon: Usagi
    Sailor Mercury: Ami
    Sailor Mars: Rei
    Sailor Jupiter: Makoto
    Sailor Venus: Minako
    Sailor Chibi(Mini)Moon: Chibiusa

    Those are the names for some of the characters, so if you don’t know the original Japanese names you can match them to their appropriate person. And yes unclepablo, Minako-chan should be the killer!

  22. If you want to play a weird game of six degrees of separation with Sailor Moon and slasher films, Terri Hawkes was in Hello Mary Lou, Prom Night II, and in Killer Party. She played Sailor Moon’s English voice. Kerr Smith, who played Axel Palmer in My Bloody Valentine 3D,was a voice in the 3rd Sailor Moon movie.

  23. SAILOR MOON?ARE YOU GUYS F@@KING KIDDING ME.

  24. We hate Sailor Moon as much as the next person, so please tell us how you want her to die…..Make it graphic.

  25. A slasher with the Sailor Girls would be great!, now what will the killer look like….

  26. this discussion is still going on? wow, people really want to see animated blood letting.

  27. I can’t believe that this comments section is legendary among the retroslashers crew, may we be able to do this again sometime……

  28. Why stop now? we could keep this up, if we have good ideas, maybe someone will pick up on that.

  29. You wanna keep this up guys? Ok, Sailor Moon, drill in skull, ’nuff said.

  30. You think so jamie? I wanna see Sailor Venus get impaled on a shower head ala My Bloody Valentine, hee hee hee

  31. How about something involving acid to the face?

  32. Or a axe through the chest of Sailor Mars, a violent and beautiful Classic.

  33. Nothing involving a hacksaw to the chest of Sailor Mars?

    For Shame.

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