Gallery  Interviews  Library  News  Random Violence  Retrospectives  Reviews

Review: Fatal Games (1984)

Writer: Giles Lavery


Whenever someone reviews a movie and say "don't worry about the characters names as they are all the same" it means they have forgotten the names. I am going to admit it... I have forgotten their names so there... I am quite lazy... John knows this... I am not going to look up just to find out character names, okay... all I know is that the are some "chicks" and some "dudes" so remember that okay... there are no pigs or spacemen in this movie...

These dudes and chicks are all in a gym class together... they even shower naked with each other... some of them are even black... yes in 1983 there were black people on tv... now the teachers and staff and people like that are using like these drugs and stuff to enhance the performance of these athletes... they are all going to go to the olympic games and be famous athletes... right? Wrong. A killer is stalking (and killing) them off one by one and he is doing it by javelin (long pointy metal thing that you throw and it sticks in the ground a long way away).

Much like Graduation Day this all happens on campus and even during the day. The kills are quite creative: a victim is javelined (not even sure that's a word right... okay fine...) from the top of a building... now this goes on and on for about an hour and 13 minutes until its that time of the movie - yes the part where you find out what is going to happen - called the end - it helps finish a movie - movies need this or else they would just go on and on forever.

The killer... and this is going to spoil the end... but that's okay... endings are overrated... the killer is a chick except she had a sex change "and our parents taxes paid for it". But the sex change was not so successful as Angela - she is still really a man - she now runs around after the female survivor with her javelin - the girl being chased hides at the top of some scaffolding in a gym when the killer crashes through the roof (made of glass) in record time - only to be pushed off and impaled on a sharp spiky thing... and is killed... then there are some credits.

In between all this there is some sex and parents getting upset about the students disappearing. The acting is quite good 'cause it all looks like it happened. Music is nothing to speak of however neither is this review I suppose... I really need to go to the bathroom now... if John lets me review anything else ever after this abortion of an effort I'll be back...



By Hook, By Axe, Bye Bye...

...and many more! Click here

Copyright © 2010 Retro Slashers