Ten Things the new My Bloody Valentine Needs to Not Suck

Let the Good Times Roll!

Whatever is going to happen in the new My Bloody Valentine has already been signed, sealed and delivered. It is what it is. I think it’s got tons of potential, but being the die hard fan I am I can’t help but hope that they will keep the elements that made the original such a classic. I think these key components are guaranteed to keep us old fogies happy!

1. Keep the characters adult – Looking at the cast on IMDb, I see they are using older actors (well, older by Hollywood standards), but I also hope they keep the whole affair mature. One of the great things about the original was that a slasher featuring downtrodden grown-ups working in a coal mine was a unique angle.

2. Don’t forget Hollis – Besides using more mature actors, the character of Hollis (played by the late Keith Knight) may very well sum up what it is about MBV that made it so damn fantastic – likeable characters. Hollis was by far my favorite character in the film. An overweight and fun loving soul, he added that touch of realism to the friendships of the men working in the coal mine.

Hollis after a hard day's work

3. Location, Location, Location (i.e. keep it dreary) – The depressed atmosphere of MBV helped to propel the movie into that dark vortex that made it a classic. Gray, chilly days and a small community hall for a party gathering only accented the dead end world TJ had to return to.

4. Take it seriously – No more post-modern horror/comedies please. Seriously. They don’t work. Keep a sense of fun, but don’t belittle the whole affair with half-cocked insults and bitchy dialog. Nobody buys it.

5. Create a good legend – The story of Harry Warden’s descent, along with the reveal of the killer’s motivation, is chilling stuff – let’s not try to do what the remake of Black Christmas did. Don’t over think it. Keep it simple and scary.

6. Don’t skimp – Fans of the original have been clamoring for an unrated cut featuring all the gore since the move was originally released. The remake can help make up for that. And that leads me to the next one:

7. Don’t Over Do the CGI – Nuff said.

8. Respect the real thing – Don’t betray the original audience by making MBV something it’s not – which goes back to my post-modern horror/comedy diatribe. We’ve already had to endure the massacring of Black Christmas, Prom Night and April Fool’s Day. I’m not saying don’t create new storylines, but know the original worked because it was a GOOD concept.

9. All horror movies need a good ballad – OK, I feel spoiled because the theme song to the original is so out of this world! I’d love a new folk song about the legend of Harry Warden. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

10. Make it in 3D – Oh wait! They’ve got this one nailed!

Legends DO exist

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15 Responses to “ Ten Things the new My Bloody Valentine Needs to Not Suck ”

  1. I agree 100%, and can’t wait to see this freakin’ remake. 3D Rocks! Hillarious Photos too!

    I miss Hollis. :(

    I bet your like…totally hot.

  2. I’ve got really high hopes for this one. Sure remakes usually suck, but this looks awesome and the fact that it’s in 3D just puts it over the top. Like I said on my blog, if I get to take home a pair of My Bloody Valentine 3D glasses, i’ll be the happiest man alive!

  3. Great list and good points. I especially love what you said about location. One of the things that got me most excited when seeing the trailer was the aerial view of the mines all gray and cold.
    I’m tired of recent flicks being so slick that it takes you out of the action. A little grit goes a long way. Here’s to hoping that they do Harry Warden proud. Really looking forward to this one.

  4. I’m still not totally sold on the remake but what we’ve seen and heard so far are pretty promising.

  5. The trailer looks A-MAZING!

    I watched it over 4 or 5 times back-to-back. The cinematography looks excellent, very dreary and lots of cool P.O.V. shots. The “cat and mouse” scenes look rather intense and it appears to have LOTS of death scenes. The killer looks freaking scary (not like that first glossy internet-photo of the “new” Jason from F13), and the lead actresses look like they are really scared in some of the sequences. Oh…the 3D. I can’t believe they are ACTUALLY releasing it that way! I think this film will really help bring that back to the horror genre. I think gimmicks are fun and add a lot to the overall viewing experience. The more “interactive” the slasher film is, the better in my opinion. I want to be SCARED and I think this might just do it!

    -RHR

  6. Amen to that ! I love the orig and i am kinda looking forward to it. I didnt know Hollis had passed away.so sad.

    As for the remake of Black Xmas, I love it and thought it was a good remake,good storyline and characters.Prom Night was ok,but it wasnt a remake,it was a stand alone movie ,I mean even the director said it in the DVD.

  7. I am a remake hater, but im impresed with this one, it could be worth something, I wont hold my breath.

  8. I am a remake hater, but im impresed with this one, it could be worth something. Keep hoping,
    And maybe MBV2 will come as a direct to DVD,
    like return to sleepaway camp.

  9. I couldn’t have articulated this better myself! All the componets you touched upon are EXACTLY why I dearly love the original MBV and why I consider it to be THE quintessential post-HALLOWEEN slasher.

    The remake was filmed just north of me in the Ford City/Kittanning Pa area this spring and let me tell you, it’s a great, spooky, atmosphereic area (western Pa is a fantastic place to shoot horror films) and it will do nicely as a stand-in for the original Nova Scotian shooting locations. I’m a Pittsburgh filmmaker myself and consider this region a goldmine of shooting locations.

    I am also hopeful that the DVD sp. ed. of the original will have the cut gore scenes edited back in the film (pick-axes crossed!) and couple of good commentaries and retrospective docs.

    Last but not least, RIP Keith Knight (Hollis)- he was the lovable heart of the original and I can’t imagine that film without him.

    Kirk

  10. Oh Kirk! Thanks for the inside scoop on the location. That’s a good sign.

    And thanks for the kind comments.

    Thank all of you for reading this. It felt good to get that off my chest!

    And like so many of you, I miss Hollis too. He was a wonderful actor and will be missed.

  11. Amanda, as usual you hit the nail on the head. You have disected the original to why it worked so well. The latest batch of remakes was so bad and topping that list was Prom Night. It just pisses me off to no end why the filmmakers do this to the fans! I too have hight hopes for MBV to be good perhaps we will get our long awaited and rumored sequel for which I understand already has a script that has been done for years.

  12. info on the sequel, its in development HELL.
    please let the remake be sucessful enough.

  13. You are spot on Amanda. Too bad the film is in the can, otherwise the filmmakers should have been sent a copy of your list.

    I posted links, including one at the Dead Lantern website message boards-

    http://www.deadlantern.com

  14. Hi Larry!

    Thanks so much for the linkage! I enjoyed writing that list and hope the remake contains just a few of those things! Fingers crossed!!!

  15. Well done list! Like others I sorely miss Keith Knight. He was tremendous in the original. And – Alf Humphries did something that is very hard to do – he made the “comic ” relief character of Howard as close to sympathetic and likeable as you can for those sorts of characters. He knew once TJ told them Harry Warden was in the tunnels that fun and games were over – he was SCARED.

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