Mute little Johnny gets shoved down a well by a gang of kids and spends the next decade in a coma at the local asylum. When the moon and sun align just right the gravitational pull revives John (Richard Buswell) Rudley and sends him on a killing spree. Gretchen (Loretta Leigh Bowman), John’s only childhood friend, finds pieces of his victims on her front porch, wrapped in the morning newspaper, and on top of pizzas she ordered for a party. Seems John is feeling a bit randy after his long sleep and wants to show Gretchen just how much he really loves her.
If Halloween and Valley Girl ever had a one night stand at a sleazy no-tell motel, then Offerings would surely be the bastard love child of that unholy rendezvous. Despite the carnage and cannibalism, Offerings is really a love story about a horribly scarred psycho killer who falls for a rich, dizzy blonde from the better part of town. The relationship suffers when Gretchen gives into peer pressure and forgets about John. Then, John gives into hunger and eats Gretchen’s friends.
Write, director Christopher Reynolds adds to the viewing experience by mixing gallows humor into Offerings’ mayhem. John Rudley has to improvise one of the murders because all of the power tools he’d prefer using break before coming in contact with the intended victim. Neighborhood kids don’t view the killer’s old house as creepy or sinister as is the case with most slashers films. Instead, kids use the old Rudley house as a place to stash porn mags. Gretchen, very much aware a killer is coming after her, forces a friend to wait downstairs so she’ll “know when he gets in.” The early warning system works great for Gretchen. Her friend’s gurgling screams inform Gretchen that the killer is in the house and she should really be leaving.
Bad acting fans will find plenty of juicy performances to sink their teeth into. Loretta Leigh Bowman looks bored in most of her scenes and never seems upset about the body parts on the front porch. She manages a few strong screams during the final chase but her performance before then is as empty as her character’s skull. Richard Buswell’s performance proves that not just anybody can play a menacing killer in a slasher film. G. Michael Smith gets a few laughs as the bumbling Sheriff Chism, a rather rotund lawman who can’t match wits with a 13-year-old. Whether she’s eating dog food or driving around town in a bitchin Firebird, Elizabeth Greene gets the nod as the most interesting actress to watch in the film.
Christopher Reynolds tries to make Offerings a stand out slasher with twisted humor and suspenseful murders. Reynolds also uses the “Accidental Cannibals” urban legend to give the story added bite. Unfortunately, the stalking sequences in Offerings seem to be lifted directly from another slasher. Perhaps the sense of deja vu is due to Russell D. Allen’s score which sounds more than just a little bit like a particular John Carpenter soundtrack. The music really taints Offerings with the aroma of rip off but the film has enough so-bad-it’s-good qualities to help it overcome awful imitations status. Really, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard Valley Girl speech delivered with a Southern twang. It sounds like a new foreign language.
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